Malissa awoke with a start. Throughout the pregnancy she had been plagued by extremely vivid and graphic dreams, many involving her husband. She couldn't remember the details of this one, which was unusual, but she did feel a sense of dread toward his flight home. She lay for a few moments, letting herself wake up fully, and gradually the tension faded and the urge to use the bathroom replaced it with a vengeance. Slowly she raised herself to a sitting position, gently putting her legs over the edge of the bed. Her belly shifted and more pressure ended up on her bladder, increasing the need to relieve herself. She knew, however, that if she stood up too fast, she would be overcome with dizziness and nausea. So, she moved slowly, standing gradually and barely made it to the toilet in time. Of course, even after she finished, she was left with the slight urge to go.

"Thanks, kid," she thought, then aloud, "I want you to take your time and get good and done, but I will be so glad to pee and feel satisfied!". Malissa patted her belly and felt a bump against her hand. As uncomfortable as pregnancy could be, she was loving it and had already planned to talk to James about having a larger family than they planned. They knew they wanted two children, but she was beginning to think that four would be better.

She tied her hair up into a bun, brushed her teeth and got into the shower. The baby really reacted to the warm shower water and she loved to stand and let it patter on her stomach and feel the baby flip and thump back at it. She spent close to a half hour just soaking up the steam and enjoying the process of washing up. After turning off the water, she stepped out and wrapped herself in her thick, fuzzy robe and slipped into her slippers. James had bought her the set for her birthday the year before. At first she wasn't impressed with the gift but had grown to love them so much, she would often spend hours just lounging and sipping her tea.

Malissa made her way downstairs, stopping to scratch the cat behind the ears, and into the kitchen where she started the kettle for her tea. She went into the laundry room and fed the cat, started a load of towels to wash, and went back into the kitchen to cook herself an omelet. She had craved eggs since about her 20th week of the pregnancy and had eggs of some kind almost every day. Today it was with cheese, fresh spinach, and mushrooms.

With her cup of red raspberry leaf tea and her omelet, Malissa went out onto the patio to sit and watch the day begin. She sipped the tea, something her doula, Katrina, had encouraged her to drink in the last trimester of her pregnancy. Katrina said that it would help with a lot of the symptoms of the pregnancy and would help her body prepare itself for labor and delivery. Plus, it tasted really good! So, Malissa had three cups a day, one with each meal, and the rest of the day she drank water. She knew that a good diet and plenty of water was key to having a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Watching the clouds move and drift over head, high and fluffy, she still couldn't shake the nagging worry in the back of her mind. James didn't travel much for work, but he did it enough that she was comfortable being home alone. She thought about where he was probably at right now. It was roughly 10:00 am so he was still at the conference for another hour. Maybe it was just that she was getting closer to the day that they would meet their new baby. She was 34 weeks pregnant this week. Heading straight into  her 8th  month, she could feel the fatigue and excitement growing together. She knew that, should something terrible happen and the baby be delivered right now, there was a very good chance that it would be completely healthy if a little underweight. But, she wanted to wait. As excited as she was to be a mom and meet her child, she wanted to give it the best possible chance at life, and that meant waiting at least six more weeks!

Malissa finished her tea and took her plate back inside. She washed the dishes and put them away and was walking into the living room when her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.
"Hey! How are you doing? We were wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch this afternoon?" her best friend, Kimberly, responded.
"Oh, that sounds wonderful, but I'm feeling so tired today! And James will be coming in this evening, so I want to rest up and enjoy his homecoming. It seems like he's been gone for a month!"
"Oh! I completely forgot he was coming home tonight! You go on then, girl! Get some for me, Stan hasn't exactly been in the mood lately." Kimberly laughed, "I couldn't imagine if he was gone while I was pregnant, though! I was enough of a basket case without that on top of it! You have a peaceful day and if you need anything, just give me a call, ok?"
"Thanks, Kim. I just feel blah today. I hope it's just hormones or whatever and that I'm not coming down with something! That would be my luck!" Malissa laughed. The women said goodbye and she hung up the phone.

Malissa curled up on the couch and turned on the television. Charisma, the cat, leapt up and curled up on Malissa's side, purring loudly. Malissa absentmindedly stroked her fur, enjoying the companionship. Her thoughts drifted and her eyes grew heavy and she drifted off to sleep.

She opened her eyes. James was standing in front of her. She sat up, realizing that she wasn't pregnant anymore. Oddly, it didn't concern her, she knew the baby was fine in the nursery. James sat beside her and held her hand. She put her arms around him and leaned into his shoulder. Breathing deeply, she realized that something was wrong. He didn't smell right. He didn't smell like her James. She pulled back and looked at him. He looked like James, but his skin was pale, almost lifeless. He smiled at her, his eyes searching her, and she reached up and touched his face. He was cold. But most of all, he didn't smell right. Malissa stood up, turned, and looked at him. He just wasn't right. She needed to go check on the baby. She walked into the nursery but it was in disarray. The crib hadn't been assembled, the walls were only half painted, all of the furniture was half put together and arranged. Malissa began to panic. There was still so much work to do and she had to do it all herself. The baby kicked violently and she doubled over. She thought "Oh my God, I'm going to go into labor and I don't have anyone to help me!" She slowly walked into the living room, trying to remember who she was supposed to call when she went into labor. She picked up the telephone and it rang.

The ringing phone woke Malissa from the dream. It took a moment to realize that she was awake. The phone rang again and she felt a sense of dread wash over her. "That's silly," she thought, "It's probably just James checking in, he might even be on the plane already."

"Hello?" She answered.
James was on the other end.
"Oh that's wonderful!" she said, as the feelings from the dream faded from her mind, "Is it really crowded?"
She petted the cat, listening to his response.
"That's great. I know how you hate being cramped on a flight! I was just napping. But I have to go pee! Let me know how everything went when you get home. I love you!"

Hearing his voice helped ease a lot of the tension from the dream and her nagging worry. She went to the bathroom and then busied herself getting ready to start cooking dinner. James loved mushrooms so she was going to make a portobello lasagna and a fresh salad that he really loved. Malissa coated the mushrooms in oil and put them in the pan to roast while she chopped the rest of the ingredients and combined them. It was a time consuming recipe so it kept her mind off the worry. She got everything chopped and assembled and ready to put in the oven so it would be ready when James came home.

She lay back on the couch to watch some television and keep her mind occupied. Relaxing, she mindlessly stroked Charisma, who always knew when to come cuddle. Malissa opened her eyes and James was standing in front of her.

"Didn't I just have this dream?" she thought. James continued to look at her.

He spoke, but his mouth didn't move, she heard his words in her mind. "I am going to miss you so much. I have loved  you more than I ever thought anyone could love another person. Our son is beautiful, and he is going to make you so proud and happy. I wish I could be with you to hold him, to see him take his first breath. Know that I will always love you and Kevin. I'm sorry that our time was cut so short, there was so much more I wanted to do, I wanted to hold you in my arms one more time, to touch your face, to say goodbye."

James was gone. Malissa felt a crushing sadness. She looked around and couldn't recall waking up. Charisma trilled softly, nuzzling against Malissa's hand.

Malissa couldn't take it. She picked up her phone and called Kimberly.

"Hey, M, what's up? Everything ok?"
Malissa took a deep breath, "Hey...do you think you could come over? I just, I don't know. I don't feel right."
"What do you mean? Is the baby ok?"
"Oh the baby's fine. I'm so tired today and all I want to do is sleep, but every time I do I have these strange dreams about James...I just need somebody to keep me company until he gets home...can you come?"
Kimberly answered quickly, "Of course! I'll be there in just a minute, let me tell Stan what's going on."
"I appreciate it so much, I guess it's just the hormones," Malissa laughed nervously and the friends hung up.

Less than fifteen minutes later, Kimberly knocked on the door. Malissa laughed when she saw the packages she had brought.

"What on earth is this?" she asked.

"Well, I figured if you needed something to keep your mind occupied, these would work. I have a couple of Monty Python movies, a book of logic puzzles, and an assortment of dried fruits and nuts...Nothing about babies, or husbands, or anything stressful, and lots of distraction!"

The women started the first movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and nibbled some fruit. Before long, they had began the logic puzzle books and were straining their minds trying to solve the problems. Both women startled when the phone rang, it seemed eerily loud.

"That's probably James, letting me know he's landed and on his way home" Malissa said as she picked up the phone.

"Hello? Yes, this is Malissa Cabot."
Malissa's face crumpled, and Kimberly got up quickly to sit next to her friend. When Malissa hung up the phone, she stared blankly ahead.

"M? Who was it? What's wrong?"

"Um, that was the airline. I have to go to the hospital. Something's wrong with James." Malissa said tonelessly, still staring ahead.

Kimberly helped her friend to her feet, and got her purse and drove Malissa to the hospital. When they arrived, Malissa made her way to the desk in the emergency room. She informed the man behind the counter that she had gotten a call regarding her husband, James Cabot, from the airline. The man's face became mask-like and he asked her to have a seat and somebody would be out to speak with her as soon as possible.

Kimberly helped Malissa over to the chairs and took a seat, grasping her friend's hand tightly. She still didn't know what was going on or what was said over the phone, but Malissa wasn't speaking and she knew that pushing wouldn't be in her friend's best interest, so she just sat there, being there.

It was a short wait before a man in a physician's coat came out and asked "Mrs. Cabot?"

Malissa and Kimberly stood, and the man gestured for them to follow him. He lead them into a small, cozy office and asked them to take a seat as he leaned against the desk. "Mrs. Cabot, I am so sorry. Your husband was found in his seat when his plane landed. The flight attendant could not rouse him and called for assistance. Paramedics arrived on the scene and did everything they could, but your husband passed away during the flight. There was nothing we could do."